Big Papi... the next Mike Tyson?

"Don’t be calling me no Mike Tyson"

After some exchange of words, a few punches and a bench clearing feud between David Ortiz and Kevin Gregg, the big man, "Big Papi" downplays the incident saying it was the first fight that he has had "since kindergarten." Be as it may, silly joke from the teammates; Ortiz is closer to a cuddly teddy bear than a ear biting Mike Tyson.

-Prof. P-Funk

Funniest players from each MLB team

Came across some great pranks, commercials and videos of some MLB players from the Bleacher Report. The final video is of Brett Myers who pulls off one of the best baseball pranks ever. Enjoy!

-Professor P-Funk

The quintessential American sports story: Hooray for the Underdog!

“There goes my hero, watch him as he goes!”

Among the many nebulous x-factors in the game of basketball there is perhaps no greater x-factor than injuries. Injuries effect so much to even a single game. They can completely dislodge any amount of momentum from a team and turn it around into instant motivation for the opposition. Injuries can have massive psychological effects on a player, shredding their confidence for the rest of the game and, most obvious of all, they take away a player’s physical mobility and ability to play. Injuries excite conversation, creating another plot line to a game or series of their own; “will he be able to play through it?”, “how will this effect his mechanics?,” “with this injury can we now count them out of the series?” While sometimes an injury is our way to rationalize the outcome of a series, other times injuries add to the glory of the player. Let it also be said that the glory of playing through an injury and winning FAR outweighs the glory taken away from a team that defeats an injury ridden team (i.e. the glory due the ‘11 Mavs vs. the tainted glory of the ‘07 Spurs).. Thus, in the wake of this past NBA Finals, the glory due Dirk Nowitzki will (justifiably) far outweigh the glory taken away from the Mavs on account of Wade’s hip injury in game 5. But before getting to game 5, Dirk Nowitzki’s finger injury was the front and center plot line after game 1. 

The Fates

Mike Wilbon

How worried were people really about Dirk’s torn (non-shooting hand) finger ligament? At that time, I really had no idea.ESPN commentator and columnist, Mike Wilbon, alludes to the winds of fate when writing on Dirk Nowitzki’s torn ligament calling it “The fickle finger of Dirk Nowitzki’s fate.” Sure it was the seemingly unimportant index finger of his non-shooting hand but we have seen players completely fade away account of even the smallest of injuries. Counter-wise, we have seen players with seemingly game ending injuries that not only have played through it but have taken over the game anyways (e.g. Rajon Rondo, Baron Davis, and MJ). Regarding Dirk however, sports analysts that I esteem highly were inconclusive on what effect they believed this injury would have on Dirk.. Hindsight 20/20, sure, it didn’t matter. But at the time was it really that obvious? Wade’s slow knees, were declared a possible “problem” for arguably the whole season, not to mention a great liability come playoff time after an entire season of wear-and-tare, but they were evidently regarded as an obvious non-issue during this finals. Dirk’s finger on the other hand wasn’t given the clear benefit of the doubt that Wade’s knees were. Indeed, some commentators guessed correctly that it would have “no impact whatsoever.” It was well noted that there is much more to Dirk’s play than his shooting such as having quick hands for pulling down rebounds, moving through screens, making the quick move for a steal or loose ball, and consequently, the finger is a legitimate cause for concern. Game 2 however, put our fears to rest.   

 

Dirk Nowitzki winning with that "injured" left hand.

What was happening was the quintessential American sports story: the hero of the underdogs winning against the villains. Not only was the hero winning, he was playing despite his injury. Later, the Heat live up to their “villain” status with the “King” and his partner (or his commander D-Wade but how can a “king” have a commander?) mocking said underdog hero. Dirk leads an amazing comeback victory with a game winning lay up with his “injured” left hand; then a clutch lay up mirrored on the other side of the elbow finishing with his right. The finger that before caused so much debate is now a far gone question. The crucial momentum is beginning to swing from the seemingly indestructible foe, the Miami Heat. The “King”, Mr. South beach, Mr. James, is beginning to show signs of weakness and the Mavericks are now not so much an underdog after all. However, the Heat still had much going in their favor; winning game 1, winning 1 out of 2 in Dallas before going home for the next 3 games where they had been enjoying great success in the playoffs thus far and perhaps their best piece of luck after all, a fever of 101 degrees. 

Cooling off the flu with a cold towel.

Although by no means a nail in the coffin for our beloved underdogs, the Dirk’s fever became an instant confidence booster for the the Heat even in the wake of an incredible performance by the hero. Dirk essentially becomes the “Dark Knight:” he doesn’t have to be flashy, he doesn’t have to be what “Gotham wants,” he just has to be “what Gotham needs.” The hero shoots a terrible percentage (6-19), gets some help from “Alfred” (i.e. Terry the “Jet”) but takes over the fourth quarter and rides off into the sunset. Now, the Batman is an incomplete hero without his villain; “the Joker.” Seemingly cool and composed, the villains commit the most classic of villain mistakes; they dare to mock the hero who is beating them; perhaps this is became karma’s tipping point (after beginning here). As Batman’s Joker acutely points out that he needs the Joker to be the hero, Dirk’s hero status became solidified by his opposition. 

Floppers keep floppin'

The finals MVP trophy sitting on Dirk’s shelf is made that much more glorious in light of these challenges; his sickness and his opposition. As Tiger Woods’ 2008 U.S. Open became en-grafted into the annals of the greatest Opens of all time, as Jordan’s clutch game 5 performance of the ‘97 finals was made sweeter by the flu, Dirk Nowitzki’s game 4 performance not only guaranteed him a finals MVP trophy but permanently made him an underdog hero. The villains are on one side, Dirk is on the other.

-Professor P-Funk

Red, Right and Blue

Why NBA fans ought to smile at the new jerseys of the Washington Wizards

Since arriving in DC for the summer, I’ve been pleased to find the city actually passionate about sports. While the nation’s capitol doesn’t quite have the same reputation of sports faithfulness as Boston, athletic glamour of New York, or the down-to-earth passion of Chicago, the DC sports scene is burgeoning with the addition of the Nationals, cementing the status of the city as a major market with a team in each of the Big Four (and Maryland and Georgetown for college sports compare favorably with any college teams in the other major sports cities, at least in basketball). 

An underrated city for sports

But more significant than either the Nationals, doomed to relative obscurity in an ultra-competitive National League East Division (plus their manager just quit after the team went on a winning streak, due to the club not offering him an extension) or the dormant Redskins, whose owner can’t seem to make up his mind on whether he’s the Mark Cuban of the NFL or a cheaper, younger imitation of Al Davis. The hope rests with owner Ted Leonsis of the Wizards (NBA) and Capitals (NHL).

The legendary Bullets "barbershop" jerseys

A Brooklyn native who first came to DC to attend Georgetown, Leonsis made his coin in the internet boom of the Nineties, as he was heavily involved with AOL and still holds the position of “Vice Chairman- Emeritus” there. But he desired to own a sports franchise, and bought first controlling positions in the Capitals, and as of this year, the Wizards. By all accounts he stays very involved with operations of his team, and as one of the more competitive owners in both leagues, has actually prevented opposing fans from buying tickets in the Verizon Center for Capitals playoff games. Talk about a computer nerd run wild.

In last week’s NBA Draft, Leonsis and the Wizards continued attempting to upgrade the roster and bring in talent to complement the exciting young team he has. With the sixth pick, the Wizards brought “the Dunking Ninja”, Jan Vesely, to play alongside John Wall, and in the process the cocky Czech Republican stole the show by making out in front of thousands with his girlfriend and dubbing Blake Griffin “the American Jan Vesely”. Another pick yielded Chris Singleton, who had been projected to go significantly higher, and their final pick brought former Butler star Shelvin Mack to the Beltway. The draft has been criticized, as although the changes should result in a faster pace of play next year, the Wizards appear to have reached on some of the draft picks. But Leonsis has accomplished something that while perhaps the most visible change on the rink or court, has subtle symbolic and historical implications- that’s right, he changed the uniforms.

The Capitals reverted from their disgusting teal-ish, black, white and gold scheme in 2007 back to a form of their original logo and jerseys of their beginning years in 1974. Combined with the emergence of NHL superstar Alexander Ovechkin, this has raised greater fan support for the Capitals and generated some nice publicity. But aside from Michael Jordan’s foolish decision to un-retire for a second time when he could enjoy the simpler things in life, the Wizards have been an NBA wasteland since when they were the Baltimore, and then Washington, Bullets, when Wes Unseld rocked one outstanding mini-fro and led them to the 1978 NBA title. Sadly that was the last we saw of those beautiful barbershop-stripe unis on the court (except for the occasional throwback night, and of course, the NBA still sells them as part of their Hardwood Classics collection).

Until 2011. Leonsis has expressed his patriotism again by red, white and blue-ing the Wizards’ shoddy, outdated, bastardized-Capitals colors. Unfortunately he decided to keep the once-clever “Merlin” Wizards logo, who now looks more like Santa Claus or Charles Darwin than any associate of King Arthur. But the jerseys hearken back to the glory years and tradition of the franchise, appeal to the patriotism of the DC fan base, and market the heck out of second-year point guard, number one overall draft pick and Franchise Savior Wall (who’s probably more well known to you as the guy behind this ridiculous dance “move”). The uniforms look and represent the attributes basketball jerseys should: classic and cool.

Rebirth of the cool

For detailed analysis of the actual uniforms, you can check out Paul Lukas’ blog which goes in-depth with the changes. As far as the aesthetic qualities of the uniforms are concerned, the bold, bright colors of the new-look Wizards mark this jersey as opening a new chapter in the franchise’s history, free from a team lead by a fun-loving, overpaid, wanna-be gangster who brought guns into the locker room in a blatant violation of NBA policy (notice, NRA lobbyists/supporters, that I didn’t say anything about the constitutionality of the ban). Not only is it a time-honored tactic to spur merchandise sales, the Wizards’ changing of the garments signifies the commitment Leonsis has made to revamp the franchise in the same manner that he’s transformed the capitals. The sweet duds will be far from enough to vault the Wizards into the playoffs, but it’s an obvious, yet subtle, sign of the hope and change that’s coming to Beltway basketball (if not Beltway politics). I only wish I’d be around in the fall (assuming there’s an NBA season) to see the revolution be televised

-The Real Deal

Pryor Knowledge

Terrell, Tressel, and the problem with the NCAA’s legalism.

The NCAA has a problem.  It has for several years now.  The problem is that they have no concrete, practical, or working plan on dealing with cases of “illegal” benefits.  The problem mainly lies with men’s football and basketball, because let’s be honest, these are the only two nationally followed collegiate sports.  My whole point in writing this will be to make the case that the NCAA needs to get its head out of its @%$ and start letting the kids live a little.

The Jim Tressel case is the most talked about situation, but these cases are nothing new, with violations involving USC, Memphis, and Boise State also coming to light in recent years.  All these situations really made me sympathize for the players and teams with the “violations,” due to the absurdities of some of the NCAA’s rules.  The NCAA really has a lot of nerve, when they say to Ohio State and its players “We have found major violations with 5 of your star players, and they will be suspended for the first five games of next year.”  Let’s not mention that, if those players don’t play in the upcoming Sugar Bowl, it could cost Ohio State, the Big Ten, and the Sugar Bowl millions.  So we see some Washington style politics and who knows how much cash change hands in order to preserve their eligibility.  So much for the integrity of the rules.

So that is the first beef I have with NCAA rules.  The rules are set in stone, but punishment is not, depending on how much money is riding on you.  Then we have the pettiness of some of these rules, and their obvious ineffectiveness.  We must remember that these football players are college students.  Yes, they have their full ride scholarships, but they don’t really have time for a part time job.  They already have full time ones (class and football).  So what would we expect 18-22 year olds to do, when they receive bowl gifts, or have leftover jerseys, that they could sell and get a little spending cash from.  They sell them.  Or if a tattoo artist is a fan of the players, and wants to give them some free stuff?  They do it.  But then we have the NCAA step in, with their almighty wisdom, and it declares any such sale of their OWN personal property, or acceptance of gifts from someone other than the university, to be illegal and punishable by suspension. 

Two faces familiar to Buckeye fans won't return in the fall.

Of course in the case of Ohio State, there was some behavior I am not OK with.  I think that players should be able to sell their items, or accept certain gifts, but lying about it is not OK.  It is wrong that Jim Tressel lied about his Pryor knowledge of the situation.  However, I don’t think this great coach should lose his job over this cover up.  I’d be willing to bet he was NOT the first coach who ever knew about violations and covered it up, but he was silly enough to get caught.  Sorry Tress.
        
Another unfortunate part of these incoherent violations is that the consequences are harshly placed on people who are not to be blame.  Coach Tressel took the brunt of the consequences at Ohio State.  But he was not the one getting tattooed or making bank from autographs.  Players do these things, are found guilty of violations, then leave, usually before they can be punished.  Coaches, the university, and teammates face unfair punishment for what others have done.
The most absurd and disappointing punishment is when the NCAA has taken away wins from teams for violations from one player.  The very concept, that in 2006 there is no football national championship, is moronic.  Taking away a national championship from a school, just because one player was ineligible, is not fair to the 90+% of other players on the team who followed the rules and won that game.  The players won that game.  Let’s think of a punishment a little less demeaning and childish.

The University of Kentucky was recently told that they should apologize for a 500th win celebration in honor of Coach John Calipari, because according to the NCAA, 42 or so of those wins were “vacated,” due to violations at his previous schools.  Now, I’m not the biggest fan of Calipari, because I feel that he was in violation of some of the NCAA’s more sensible rules on recruiting.  But still, an apology for a party?  Come on, NCAA.  That is just ridiculous.  He may have used un-kosher methods to acquire his players, but they still won those games.  Saying that he was not victorious 500 times is denying reality and part of a pathetic power trip.

Those are just some thoughts on the NCAA and their current problems with violations, punishment, and enforcement.  I know there is a need for rules, but some of them could be done away with.  Let the players make a little money.  The college could pay them a small stipend each month.  It need not be every sport, because not every sport has problems with violations, nor does every sport generate close to the amount that football and basketball do.  These two sports bring in so much money, and they are prevented from jumping straight to the pros to get paid.  So either let them go get paid immediately, or show ‘em a little love.  And please try and find some better punishments for violations of the legitimate rules (on academic problems, dirty recruiting, etc.).  Don’t punish the innocent for the crimes of the guilty.   

-Paul of the Wild